Chapter 2: (v.2) The Who of Us and Me

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2. The Who of Us and Me

“Pervert. He called me a pervert, and … and it was something from a long time ago. That word – it hurt that other time too, but I can’t remember.” Allison had been crying for a quite a while, and I felt helpless to comfort her as we lay on her bed. She had changed into flannel pajamas, even though it was much too warm for flannel pajamas.

“And he’s been spying on me. He knows that I have been reading about Ladies of Langollen and Sappho, and people who might be more like me.”

In our mind flashed an image of her with Brianna from some younger time, tenderly stroking her face and feeling curiosity about her body. “I mean, it’s supposed to be okay now, but maybe, maybe I really am not right,” she murmured as she remembered. “Maybe I really am a pervert.” Her sobbing intensified.

For the first time I felt the need to speak to her from within her, to let her know that I was actually there, and I whispered, “I’m that way too.” I didn’t know how I knew that, since I didn’t really remember anything of who I had been other than the short time of being the spider under the microwave, but somehow I knew it. I knew that I was one of the females who was attracted to other females, and the name Sappho lit a stroke of familiarity within me.

“You are? The type that, you know, likes girls?” she asked back, in a whisper, her eyes darting toward the door as if someone might spring upon us.

“Yes.”

Then she had the presence of mind to ask, “Who are you?” Her crying subsided.

I waited a bit before answering, feeling that I hadn’t yet been ready to be discovered, that perhaps I could pull off this whole business of being within her, of taking over her mind and body, without her noticing. But then I knew I had to formulate an answer as honest as possible, if I did not want her to lose that mind. “I don’t know,” I whispered.

“Where did you come from?” And when I didn’t answer right away, “That might be a place to start.”

“I came from under the microwave,” I had to tell her because that was the one thing that I did remember.

“When?”

“A few weeks ago, when you had just finished pouring some coffee for yourself and were about to put in the peppermint creamer.”

“I just started drinking coffee a few weeks ago. It’s pretty good if you get something sweet in it, and it helps.”

“Helps? Helps with what?” I asked.

“The sadness that’s there in the morning, sometimes, most times. I mean, it’s different now. It’s been like I’ve been disconnected from everything for a while. Wait, what are you? You were under the microwave? Now I know that you’re not just me. I would never even think about what’s under the microwave.”

“I don’t know what I am, exactly. I was in the body of a spider, but that wasn’t my original form.”

“Ugh. So … you’re some kind of alien? I’m possessed by an alien? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“No. I mean … I’ve always been here, part of this planet. Being an alien would imply I came from somewhere else.”

“Why me? Why not take over the brain of the President, or some other important person, or at least someone who has it together?”

“I think it’s because we are alike. I don’t think it would have worked any other way. I am a fifteen year old girl on the inside – that’s what I feel. This is not a take-over as much as it is a mind-meld. I think.”

“Like Star Trek? Mr. Spock?”

“I don’t know him, or it. But see, I can now see your interior images from the show, the man with his hand on someone’s head. I don’t think it’s really like that. I am now a part of you, not just reading your thoughts.”

She was quiet for a long time before asking, “Am I crazy? Are you crazy? If you is really someone who is not me.”

“I don’t know if I know what it means to be crazy. I know that I like you better than you like yourself.”

“I like myself just fine.”

“From what you were just feeling about what your Dad said, I don’t think you do. And you think that your body is ugly, and something unclean. I think that you’re, we’re, beautiful. The blonde hair, and the eyes that are pale blue like robin eggs. And remember that I have seen you naked now, so I know …”

“My boobs are too small.”

“I think that they’re fine just the way the way they are – firm and triangular with cute nipples.”

“Well, what was what your body like? Were you some ugly geek and this is an upgrade? Is that why you’re doing this?”

“I was a spider. I don’t remember the time before that, but I know that there was a time before that body, and I was something different. Different, but definitely still female.”

“Wait. You were a spider? Yuck. I am definitely an upgrade.”

“So, how do you feel about me being part of you? If I could leave would you want me to leave?”

“No. I think that before you, I felt stumbled.”

“Stumbled? What does that mean?”

“Like I couldn’t keep my feet under my self. I was falling. And it’s strange, but it was almost like I was incomplete, that I was waiting for you to arrive, the way it feels when you know your period is coming, and yet it’s not quite there, and it won’t come, and even though you dread it, you know it will, and that there will be that relief when it finally starts.”

“Then,” I paused for a long while, “we become an I, us becomes me. We learn to speak as one.”

“Yes, I like that. And then there can be no secrets between us. I will learn to not hide from myself.”

“That’s not always easy. I think that most people manage to hide from themselves. Actually, most people spend most of their lives trying to unlock the door that hides their true self, even though they created that door themselves.”

“Then we-I will try our best – no holds barred.”

“Yes. We learn together.”

Allison-I grinned and whispered aloud, “Then we start with this, a consummation of our union.” And she moved her hand down into her pajama bottoms and to the place between her legs, our legs. Our masturbation became my masturbation, and the images we shared were ours together. And with that quiet, sleepy orgasm, came our deepest secrets – shared.

Submitted: August 08, 2023

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