Impossible to love

Poem by: CathrinStuart

Reads: 118 | Likes: 4 | Shelves: 1 | Comments: 2

Questions on why a mother cannot love her child

Impossible to love

I am not sure what it is that I have done

You said I had a violent conception

Rejectes even before my life had begun

I am not sure if it is that I spoiled your figure

Finally your baby blue dress a perfect fit

Your swelling belly bringing great displeasure

I am not sure, it was weeding the garden to go into labour

Weeding for hours, pulling one weed at time

This must be when I fell out of your favour

I am not sure if it was my genetics

You hated your sister, I looked like her

"Just like your aunt" you screamed like a lunatic

I am not sure if it was because I was more gifted

Singing, running, academics, art - I had it all

While this from your other children was omitted

I am not sure if it is making suspicion reality

I told you, I saw dad with the maid

This must be why you allowed the brutality

I am not sure if it was because I defended myself

Lacking strength I developed a sharp tongue

This must be why you allowed the elder kids to bully me

I am not sure if it was because I stood on principal

Courage of conviction to stand against wrong

Many a slap across my face to make it swell

I am not sure it is when I lived my own life

Being the youngest I had to take care of my parents

I got married, in your eyes I became a lowlife

I am not sure if it was when I prevented you from taking my child

You even had my daughter call you mommy

It must be when you kept her from me I went wild

I think it was those times I stood alone in truth

When you stood in lies inciting violence

When you needed support to uphold the untruth

I am not sure if it was my defiance

You stood and watched while I was beaten

It must be because I was unbroken by the violence

I am not sure what it is that made me impossible to love

When I was shaped and molded by your hand

But I will stand unbroken as there is a heaven above

Be kind to yourself and love yourself.

Submitted: December 06, 2023

Poetry love rejection pain hate relationship

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DLCannon

Loving myself is hard when you know I don't deserve love. And I especially don't think it has to come first as a pre-requestsight for a relationship. For all my exes loved me without me loving myself first. But then again, they obviously never truely loved me, if they all left. So maybe you're right. But I just can't bring myself to love myself, and put myself before any woman that comes cross as muse material. I just don't want to deal with any love at all right now. But I guess that's my fault. Either way, I like the poem.

Mon, December 18th, 2023 8:15am

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Thank you for reading.
Loving yourself is very important because if you cannot love yourself, you cannot fully love another. Love is word just thrown around these days for people to get what they want, that is why trust is far more important to me.

Mon, December 18th, 2023 12:19am