Chapter 3: (v.2) Just a lovely swim at the beach! Nothing to worry about!

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It was Thursday, close to noon and Christos was sitting in the couch, watching TV.

The truth of course was that he didn’t pay attention to the TV program, but rather he reflected to his life up until that moment.

His parents, lived in Alexandroupoli and there he went to school until the age of 18, together with his three years older brother, Michalis.

In school, he didn’t have any special performance as a student, but only in the last three years after making a big effort, it gave him good results: to be accepted as a physics student at the University of Thessaloniki.

After he obtained his degree, he further continued his studies as a master's degree student in physics. Then, that year, at the age of 25, he started feeling tired from studying too much. He felt psychological exhaustion and during the first semester he had a panic attack, caused by the unexpected difficulty of the courses, which led to him being depressed during the second semester. He kept saying to his parents that he wanted to quit.

One time he expressed to his mother this idea and then she replied:

"If you don’t want to continue, then you should stop the military postponement and go fulfill your duty as a soldier!”

That frightened him, and he didn’t express his idea again.

Returning to the present, his mother at that moment began cleaning the house with the vacuum cleaner, which made a lot of noise.

The sound of the vacuum cleaner filled his mind with static, that superimposed with the noise already inside. Then, he remembered his appointment with the Teacher, the previous day.

Christos thought about what the Teacher had told him regarding the conflict with his mother and realised the truth in his words. His mother had always wanted him to stay indoors.

Every summer he returned from holidays, he wouldn’t go out because he feared there would be consequences from her!

But that summer, during the examination period of the second semester, he started to get angrier than ever in his life. He thought that this situation could not continue anymore.

And then he fought his mother, and he lost. Since then, he feared to approach a woman, being afraid that he had to fight her as he fought his mother.

It was at that point that he meet the Teacher, a person that appeared to be honest with him. The first person that appeared to really understand him and the only person that wanted to support him.

"You are a grown up, you have every right to fall in love!” the words of the Teacher echoed in his head.

"But how can I avoid the conflict?” he wondered.

"By claiming your rights!” the voice of the teacher echoed again.

Christos took the TV controller, closed the TV and took the car heading towards the unknown. He left without reporting to anyone and that made him happy.

"I am free!” he thought. “I can do whatever I want in my life!”

He headed towards the beach St. Paraskevi, located at a fifteen-minute drive from the city center.

After entering the beach, he spread his towel and sat. Then an energizing feeling flowed through him.

The time being 1:30 p.m. and with his imagination working feverishly, powered by the bright light of summer sun, Christos thought, “Since I can do whatever I want, I could try to find a girl!”

Then, the sight of a beautiful girl coming out of the sea caught his eye.

Christos observed her and felt dazed by her presence.

The young girl noticed Christos looking at her, and she responded with a similar yet shy look, as if she was feeling the same thing.

"Does she want me approach her?” he wondered. “Let’s go!”

He attempted to get up, but then something unexpected happened. The image of a memory from his teens came to his mind, where his mother forbad him to talk to girls, making him feel humiliated.

Terror overwhelmed him. He tried to think what he would say to her, but no word came to his mouth, not even as a thought. He felt stuck to the ground and realized that he couldn’t make action what he had in mind, just from fearing his mother that lived recorded inside him as a threat.

Suddenly, the sunlight beams became stronger and the heat made Christos feel exhausted. An exhaustion both mental and physical.

"Same shit again,” he though and once again in his life, despair overwhelmed him.

He stood up and took his towel, wanting to leave without even swimming in the sea a bit, just to cool down from the heat.

Every step towards the car, seemed to become heavier and heavier. He felt more and more desperate.

Suddenly, a spark of rage emerged from deep inside that said, “they have destroyed my life!”

He entered the car and the heat of the car made it feel like hell itself. He thought that he would stay there trapped forever, just like he remained trapped in his life.

The excitement of defiance had now subsided, and the only thing remaining was pure fear. Fear and terror for what would follow for his non-compliance of the horrible rule of his mother; not to leave the house.

The feeling of fear started to shift to rage. His life was a prison!

"They have destroyed my life!” he said inside him consciously.

As he started the car, tears started flowing through his eyes. “What I am going to do?” he wondered.

The engine roared as he pushed the gas a lot more than necessary.

"They have destroyed my life!” he said louder and even more tears run down his cheek.

He drove of the harbor and headed towards the city center. He switched the lever of the transmission box to the second gear.

"They have DESTROYED my life!” he shouted with a painful tone in his voice.

He switched to the third gear and the car started to increase speed. But he drove unstably, changing rapidly between high and low velocity.

Then the road ahead seemed to have no turns for many miles ahead.

Christos switched to the fourth gear and stepped on the gas, reaching a speed of over 160 miles/per hour!

Then, in a glimpse of a second, he saw the bigger picture: for so many years isolated from the world, without social experience, without love affairs. A cave man that tried in vain to fit into society. Cut off for so long from the outside world, that he himself could not come back. And he realized why:

His mother wanted him inside the house, away from social interactions, because it benefitted her cause somehow. Most probably, driven by her lust for power. His father on the other hand also isolated himself and feared people, so he didn’t know how to help him.

A strong urge to faint began to overwhelm him and fearing for what would mean his physical death, he immediately pressed the brake.

Slowing down progressively, and seeing a crop field to the right side of the road, he entered the private property. He managed to successfully stop the car.

At that point, he allowed himself to fully feel the rage that boiled inside him. Feeling like being closed in a small cinema theatre where the story of his life was being played, emotions like pain, sadness, anger and rage but also physical sensations such as rapid heartbeat and extreme heat, all together made him choke, unable to breathe. He made a desperate effort to escape his sudden immobilization and a small cry escaped from a crevice of his anger. He saw himself being humiliated in his home, out while playing, in front of his female friends.

Slowly, he began to lose himself, and then came images of violence and humiliation that shook him! He started shouting and yelling out loud, making himself heard around the area. That temporarily revived him. He then shouted for the last time: “THEY HAVE PLUNDERED MY LIFE!” and finally fell to the ground unconscious.

Submitted: February 23, 2024

Literary Fiction romance therapy psychology counselling personal-development