Chapter 30: (v.2) Revenge Is A Lentil Soup Eaten From The Floor!

Christos traveled to Alexandroupoli and spent his days with his parents, during which nothing out of the ordinary happened, leading him to fear whether an underground threat lurked behind all this calmness. The Teacher himself had returned to Aleksandroupoli for the summer.

Yet his brother Michalis still hadn’t returned, and neither had the rest of his classmates from the places they studied, so nobody was available for Christos to go out with.

On the first day he met the Teacher after returning to Alexandroupoli, he felt afraid due to the fact that the Teacher welcomed him very warmly during their first appointment. Christos wondered what the Teacher really intended to do with him. What if he used him?

Having these thoughts on his mind for some days, Christos finally sent an SMS to the Teacher's mobile, which said, "I don’t believe you really love me. You do all these things to validate your theories on psychology!"

The Teacher's reply did not arrive as an SMS on Christos’ mobile, but as call. “Christos,” said the Teacher calmly, “would you like to come from my house?”

"Why not speak by phone?”

"I think we should talk about important matters from close.”

"Okay then, I’ll come!” Christos replied.

In the afternoon, Christos took a taxi and found himself at the Teacher's home.

Why do you believe that I don’t love you?” asked the Teacher. “The fact that we do this work together, doesn’t hinder us from being friends. Would you maybe prefer to stop the psychoanalysis and talk about other things? Or maybe you want to stop coming here?”

"No,” Christos replied. “I never said something like that.”

"Then what?” asked the Teacher. “What’s the matter with you?”

"It is just,” Christos said, “last time I came, the welcome was too warm and I thought that it hid hypocrisy.”

"Hypocrisy?” the Teacher asked. “Christos, why should I pretend to be someone else? Do I seem to you like that kind of person?”

"No,” Christos replied. “You are right, I guess it was just my idea. As if I don’t feel worthy of being loved.”

Laughing, the Teacher said, “Hahaha! So, there you have it! You found someone that loves you! Let that sink in to your mind!” Then he asked, “But I wonder, have you ever received love Christos? Did your parents ever show their love to you?”

"How would be the way to show it?”

"Hasn’t your mother ever told you she loved you? What about your father? Has anyone of them ever hugged you?”

"No one ever referred to the word love. Only from time to time my father would tap friendly my back, however he put some force on it as if he tried to slam me!“

"He expressed violence with his caress,” the Teacher laughed. “Strange combination!” The Teacher continued, “Your parents are who they are Christos. They love you and Michalis but they don’t know how to show their love, because in their turn their parents didn’t teach them how to do so either.”

"And how does one show his or her love to the other?”

"As I just told you, verbally is one way, but with physical contact like a hug, this is also a way to show affection. Another way to express love is with material gifts, however it is not as powerful as the previous ways. Usually the parents who don’t know how to show their affection in a healthy way, they do so by giving their children material things.”

"My father often gives me money,” Christos noted.

"See?” the Teacher said. “Does your mother give you?”

"No, she gives less,” Christos said. “But, wait a moment. . . I think that she simply sees that the house does not run out of material goods, she often goes for shopping.”

"Many parents make that mistake," the Teacher said, "they only satisfy the material needs of their children and ignore the emotional ones." And then they wonder why their children grow problematic.”

"I guess we are talking for my case,” Christos said.

"Yours and others, Christos,” said the Teacher. “I remember having a patient who being rich, could provide everything to his three sons. However, they became drug addicts. Later, his younger two sons stopped taking drugs, however do you know he told me about his older son who continued his drug use?”

"What did he say to you?” Christos asked.

"I will take an axe and chop his feet off! Let’s see then how he will walk to take his dose!”

"This is unbelievable!” Christos said.

"Indeed it is,” the Teacher agreed. “Your family isn’t the other one with problems Christos. There are worse!” Then he said, “At least in the material part you didn’t miss anything, that is a consolation.”

After thinking about it, Christos said, “But it would be good if my parents changed just as I did!”

"That would be nice, but that is their decision to make. The only thing that you can do is to move forward yourself!”

"I’ll try,” Christos said.

"Good,” the Teacher said. “What about acquaintances here in Aleksandroupoli? Do you have any friends?”

"Not many,” Christos replied. “I’ve lost touch with most of my classmates.”

"I think it’s time to reunite with them, and generally, don’t stay inside! Get out, make new friendships, connect! Just as you did in Thessaloniki!”

"Here it seems more difficult,” said Christos.

"Yes, this is true, because the images you have here, remind you of last summer but also the years of your childhood, where you didn’t have your own groups of people to hang around with. It is an opportunity now to negate these images and find the friends you deserve!”

"Alright then, time to get to work!”

***

A few days passed and Christos attempted to find old classmates and hang around with them once more. That didn’t prove to be an easy task, since most of them found their own groups of friends and it became difficult for a person to enter their network. He did manage however to find two of his old classmates and go out every now and then.

He would not stay in home much, because as it was summertime, he preferred to be outside. Additionally, he did that also due to the tense climate inside the house. The initial calmness he felt when he first returned to Aleksandroupoli for vacations continued to exist and he realized that it was a matter of time before an incident would occur.

And that did happen, a day around the middle of July. A very hot day with Petros and Michalis waiting for Iulia to return from work so they could eat for lunch.

Christos also wanted to eat, but he scheduled to eat at a restaurant, because having launch out made him feel more independent and free. Apart from that, they didn’t speak on the table and he considered that whether he ate with his family or alone made no difference.

Arriving furiously from work, Iulia entered the living room and like a military cook, went to the kitchen to prepare the table for lunch.

At that moment, Christos got ready to have his walk and to go later at the restaurant. When Iulia saw him open the door, she asked, “Where are you going?”

"I’m going to eat outside!” he replied.

"We have food in the house! Lentil soup!” Iulia replied with a stern voice that left no room for objections.

That made Christos became afraid and without realizing it, he made a step back, like a pray ready to flee. Iulia waited for his reply like a leopard hidden within the scorched from the sun bushes, staring like a predator ready to attack its pray and devour it.

Reacting to this situation, Christos said, “I don’t want to eat lentils! I want to eat out!”

Iulia's eyes flashed and with threat in her movements, she grabbed a deep plate, poured in that hideous brownish broth and placed it forcefully on the table, where Christos usually ate.

Then, Christos remembered the power game Iulia played with him for so many years, where she herselfhim not to go out reminding him of the consequences of disobeying, so she could control him. He recalled the memory when he wentto play to the house of his friend(Ch. 13), where he was beaten so hard he thought that Iulia would kill him. “I won’t let this happen again!” he thought furious and impulsively, he grabbed the plate that Iulia prepared for him and threw it to the floor, breaking it to a million pieces. “Don’t threaten me!” he yelled at her.

Iulia stepped back, surprised and terrified from Christos’ reaction.

Christos then proceeded further: he grabbed the big lentil pot and threw it to the floor as well, flooding the kitchen with the soup.

Strangely, the sight of the lentil soup on the floor, this dark color, reminded Christos of a water pond that even though it seemed clean and transparent at the surface, its bottom consisted of sludge. With his action, he disturbed the waters and obscured the initial clarity of the water.

"You go eat your lentis!" Christos said sounding as threatening as before. “I will do what I want!”

Walking to the door, Christos’ eye caught Michalis and Petros trying to clean the floor and bring round Iulia from her shock.

He went out of the house clearly unburdened but also a bit worried as to what the consequences of his actions would be, guilty feeling as well for behaving to his mother like this. He called the Teacher to talk about the event.

The Teacher laughed, “Ha-haa!” he said. “You took revenge from last year! That time with the incident where she didn’t let you go to Thessaloniki!”

"Now that you say it I think you are right,” Christos said, “indeed I kept a grudge on her since then!”

"So now you won the rematch!”

"I feel a little guilty now,” Christos said.

"I understand that it isn’t the best thing for someone to behave to its mother like that, however her manners are not the best.”

"So, I did the mirror to her!” stressed Christos.

"Here you showed rage my dear Christos,” said the Teacher, “so I don’t think you applied the mirror technique to her. Nevertheless, you did the right thing: you gave her what frightens her, because if she raises her voice and hits objects to regulate others, that means that the same tactic also regulates her.”

"Do you believe she will do it again? To threaten me like that?”

"Maybe, or maybe not,” the Teacher replied. “But I guess that she won’t. Would she dare fight a strong lad like you?”

"I just hoped that it wouldn’t come to this,” Christos said.

"That was necessary to happen so that your anger with your mother became dissipated and thus contributing to your growth.”

"Do you believe that now I have no more fear for women?”

"Maybe you still have, but surely from now on you will fear them less. It will show!”

"Good, thank you so much for the support!”

"Whenever you need me, I’ll be there!”

***

Iulia never raised her voice on Christos again, neither did she hit objects to scare him. However, Petros, his father, still behaved the same way he did last summer, being distant and not communicating at all. Christos disliked that and wanted to change things somehow.

Going to his father's office one day, Christos complained that he didn’t like how things were in the house and that he would really like him to behave differently.

Petros reacted violently, grabbing the office desk with his hands and slamming it with all of his strength, which scared Christos and froze him, just like the previous summer when he confronted Petros again.

"You were scared of Petros," the Teacher said, "but not of Iulia."

"What does that mean?” Christos asked.

"That you fear your father more than fear your mother.”

"And why do you think that happens?”

"Because your father is your leader-parent, he has given you your existential fear so subconsciously you are afraid of his rejection more.”

"You mean ridicule?”

"Yes, that fear.”

"However, that fear has started to go away, right?”

"You have made some progress since we started and many of your phobias are reduced in intensity. Your existential fear must have also reduced its intensity, however you still have a long way to go before you can be called a free person!”

"Will I succeed I wonder?” asked Christos.

"As I told you before, that depends on you. If you give up the fight, you will return to the old ways, if you insist, you will win.”

"I want to insist,” said Christos, “but. . .”

"But what?”

"I would like my parents to follow me in this change.”

"Your desire is reasonable Christos,” said the Teacher, “however this is something you must do alone! Your growth concerns you mostly.”

"Yes, but wouldn’t it be nice if. . .”

"Christos,” the Teacher interjected, “I see you are stuck with your parents and believe that you can do something to help them.”

"Is that a bad thing?”

"No," he replied, "but as I have told you other times as wel, they don’t want to! You must accept it: they don’t change. The only thing that changes is our inner world. The others remain the same.”

The Teacher continued, “Wouldn’t it be better if you let them be and involve yourself more on things you really like? How much energy do you waste to dissuade them? How much energy did you lose by attempting this with your father?”

At that moment, Christos realized that what he did, to try to communicate with his father, was the same thing to try to talk to a wall. Even though it is said that walls have ears, his father constituted the exception to that rule. “I felt unbelievably exhausted!” he said to the Teacher.

"Wouldn’t it be better if you redirected this energy towards your development?”

With these words, Christos thought that indeed, if he used the energy he lost from all the conflicts with his parents to his self-growth, then he would overcome his fears faster. He got mad with himself, because deep inside he felt stuck with attempting to change his family, so that he wouldn’t have to change.

"Eh, can I go to the bathroom?” Christos asked the Teacher.

"Yes, of course!” the Teacher replied who understood that Christos needed to burst somewhere. “He still has a lot of anger inside!” he thought.

Upon entering the bathroom and unleashing his rage, Christos started to punch the folded blankets with his fists. Then, with the corner of his eye he saw himself on the mirror hitting the blankets and a thought crossed his mind that he didn’t direct his anger towards the fabric, but to himself, impassively, by falling to his parents’ traps. “But what are you doing?” he shouted on the image on the mirror and then he realized everything.

The path towards growth and self-actualization is a personal path. Even on those, the others continue to behave as they did, it is we that change. “I think you are right,” spoke Christos to his image in the mirror. “I got involved too much with my parents and now it is time to get involved with you!”

Saying these words, Christos' anger softened and he thought that from now on he would focus on his own development, and not on that of others.

He returned to the office where they did their meeting and the Teacher said, “Christos, you look different!”

"Yes,” Christos replied, “because now what I want for myself is not to be affected by my parents, and not to have their behavior changed. So, they don’t bother me anymore!”

"Finally!" said the Teacher jovially. “Time to get out of your cell then and throw away all your fears!”