Hassle

I have to argue with myself that 

I’m worth the hassle,

Yes, hassle.

I wish I could relieve you of obligation because 

It makes me sad to see you so stressed.

I hate causing you stress.

That’s all I see-

That I make your life harder.

I want your life to be easier.

The only way I can think to make it easier 

Is to not have me in it,

To spare you the burden of me.

I can’t take care of myself.

I have to accept that my dreams die.

I have to accept that the things I hold onto that 

Give me meaning,

My life meaning,

Memory,

Take up space you don’t have room for. 

I take up space. 

I wish you didn’t have to make room for me.

I don’t have anything to give.

I can’t even guarantee my presence.

I can’t promise I’ll smile.

Why should I keep taking?

I do think you’d be better off without me.

You could forget about so many things 

That consume your mind.

I think you’d be better off if you let me go,

Then I wouldn’t be your problem anymore.

I see all the problems I cause.

If you didn’t have to mess with me things would be better, easier.

You wouldn’t have to move, clean, carry, or pay for anything or me ever again.

I don’t make your life easier.

I see you miserable.

Taking care of me makes you angry, it robs your joy.

You could carry on without me and never have to get upset about my things again.

You wouldn’t have such a long to do list.

You could rest. 

I’m the problem that’s in the way of you being happy 

No more medicine, no more doctors, no more stuff,

That’s what you want, right?

I’m the common denominator of all your inconvenience.