Dear 2025

Dear 2025,

Can you hear me?

Can you feel the weight of the words

I’ve held inside for so long,

A weight too heavy for the heart to carry alone?

Can you see the shattered pieces of my soul,

Each one held together only by the faintest thread of hope?

This is a letter to you,

A letter of plea,

A letter to the future,

Begging for some peace,

A break from the storms that have battered me so relentlessly.

2024 began with my daddy fighting to live,

Fighting for another chance at a life

That had already been stripped of so much.

He never wanted to leave us,

Never wanted to leave me, 

He just wanted to silence the pain,

Chase away the demons that haunted him.

Wanted to escape the night he tried to save her,

The night she left us to mourn in her absence.

2024 ended in the quiet of finality,

The kind that shakes you to the core,

When the person you loved more than anything

Slips away into the cold grip of forever.

And I stood there,

Holding on to fragments of a past I couldn’t keep,

Trying to breathe through the suffocating weight of grief.

I thought I was prepared—

But I wasn’t.

The world doesn’t feel right anymore,

Like something crucial is missing,

Like a piece of the sky has fallen away.

The air is heavy now.

Each step I take feels weighted,

The ground beneath me unstable.

I wasn’t ready to lose him,

How can I be expected to let him go

When I never had the chance to say goodbye?

How can the world expect me to move on

When all I have left are empty echoes

Of voices that should still be here?

2023 and 2024—

They broke me,

Left me in pieces I can’t seem to put back together.

I’ve been searching,

Chasing after fragments of myself,

But every day feels like a reminder

That there’s a part of me

That will never be whole again.

2023 took so much,

The loss of my mother,

The absence of my fur babies—

Two of them stolen from me,

Taken from their home, my heart,

Leaving behind only emptiness,

Their absence a constant ache.

Life has been a battle for so long,

A battle I never asked for,

One I didn’t choose,

But one I couldn’t avoid.

It strips you raw,

Tears at the very fabric of your soul,

Leaves you gasping for air,

Wondering how much more you can take.

I’m tired—so tired—

Of the endless climb,

Of fighting when all I want is rest.

Of pushing through each day,

Wondering if this will be the one

That finally breaks me.

If the world could stop,

Just for a minute,

If everything could just pause,

I would fall to my knees

And beg for a moment to breathe.

Just a moment to stop the bleeding,

A moment to remember how it feels

To live without the constant weight of loss

Pressing down on me.

But I can’t take much more.

My heart can’t bear another loss.

Not another goodbye.

2025, please hear me,

Go easy on me.

I’m not asking for much—

Just a chance to heal,

A chance to breathe.

The year ahead looms large,

Filled with “firsts” without my dad,

The first birthday,

The first holiday,

Accepting that I’ll never hear his voice again. 

I don’t know how to navigate this new world,

This world where his voice is silent,

Where his laughter is just an echo in my mind.

I don’t know how to keep going

When every step forward feels like a mountain.

I’m already weary,

Already running on empty.

And still, I have to be there for my daughter,

To be the mother she needs to be. 

So please, 2025,

Don’t take anyone else from me.

Don’t steal another piece of my heart.

Maybe, just maybe,

You could bring my cats home to me.

The ones who were taken,

The ones who belong by my side.

Life would be a little easier.

The walls are closing in,

Suffocating me under the weight of what I’ve lost.

I can feel the pressure building,

Trapping me in a prison of “what-ifs.”

What if they’re still out there,

Lost and alone,

Crying for help,

Their voices unheard?

What if I never see them again?

My heart breaks over and over,

The ache never fading,

The pain never going away.

So, 2025,

I ask you,

With everything I have left,

Please go easy on me.

Don’t tear me apart again.

Don’t rob me of another person I love.

Don’t break me—

Because I’m not sure how much more I can take.

I’m not strong enough anymore.

I need a break.

A fresh start.

Please let this be the year

Where I can finally breathe again.

Let this be the year where my life doesn’t feel

Like a never-ending crisis,

Like the world is collapsing around me.

I need a year where I can find peace,

Where I can rebuild,

Where I can feel the hope of tomorrow.

I promise to stay open,

To stay ready for anything you have in store.

I promise to embrace the unknown,

To take risks,

To use my voice.

I won’t let opportunities slip away.

I won’t be afraid of what comes next.