Pleasurable Pain

As the salty river rolls down my face, and the urge to hide my tears from anyone who might hear becomes overwhelming, my face feels paralyzed. My mouth quivers and shakes; I'm trying so hard not to cave in. It feels like a tornado has hit, leaving me with the urge to scream, but I have no voice. I wonder, is this what hell feels like? The world around me is moving, yet mine is stuck. My stomach feels as though it's been twisted with a wrench. I feel broken and lost, without any guidance. I'm consumed by guilt for my own pain, which I believed would bring me pleasure. I despise myself for thinking I could get more for less; after all, no one wants to pay for something that's less.

By: Denisha Wade (Nisha Starr the Poet)