Everything I've Learned About Women

Everything I’ve Learned About Women

With sincere apologies to the great Tina Turner, I have to ask; “What’s love got to do with it”.  Romantic relationships are one of the most complex, impactful, wonderful, terrible things that can happen to you.  I got married at age 45.  Prior to that I was never married but rarely single.  I was always more comfortable being involved and being a half a couple rather than a “lone wolf”.  Not sure exactly what that says about me, it’s just the way I’m wired.  As a result, I’ve been involved in many relationships lasting from a few weeks to a few years.  I genuinely treasured them all.  When trying to reflect on them and analyzing the birth, life and eventual demise of relationships I’m usually a bit puzzled.  Being a typical male; logical and pragmatic/simple minded and clueless (potato/potaato), I’m occasionally left wondering “was it something I said?”  If asked, I’m sure any one of my ex-partners could write a lengthy PhD candidate level thesis on “what I said”.

There was one particularly wonderful relationship I recall.  Amy was smart, kind and beautiful with a sparkling personality and a great sense of humor.  We really “got each other” and enjoyed our time together for over a year.  However, even my highly analytical male brain could not detect that there was something missing.  We eventually split up.  We hugged and said goodbye and separated on the best of terms (me wondering “was it something I said?”).  Years later I learned that Amy was happily married to her long-time friend Jennifer, and they were raising a beautiful little girl.  Brings a new dimension to the word clueless doesn’t it.  I was conflicted.  Was it a case of I ruined her for all other men, or did she figure “if this is what men are like, I’m out”.

Fast forward to my present situation.  My wife is very spiritual and reads all kinds of books on various such topics.  One subject she’s read many books on concerns past lives. Wonderful, if only she would refrain from further confusing me with their wisdom.  One theory she explained is that we reincarnate with the same spirits over and over, but in different roles.  For example in a past life I might have been her brother, or she might have been my father, she said.  Gives credence to the saying “you never meet the person you love, you recognize them” she said. Wow, profound.  Sometime later, prior to a promising romantic encounter I whispered “don’t hurt me daddy”.  She called me an ugly name rolled over and went to sleep.  “Was it something I said?”