TORN VEIL

Its a cold friday night, the wind whips its lashes against her bare bronze skin, convinced there's nothing a glass of whisky cannot fix, Diora walks to her makeshift bar with the intentions of pouring herself a glass when her phone rings, she lets out a very frustrated sigh walking back to the sofa to check who the caller might be at this time of da.

 

She picks up her phone and her face turns even more sour than it was a few seconds ago, for the fourth time today it was her therapist, the very renowed therapist, Mrs Vera calling to schedule a session with her.

 

 ''What do I have to do to be rid of this woman? She just doesn't know when to stop'', she hissed, sucking in a sharp breath.

 

Few months ago, Diora let herself get convinced by her friends and her boss to seek therapy as solution to a problem she couldn't quite place a finger on, she wasn't really depressed, she wasn't suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, she wasn't having nightmares but she knew something wasn't right, she had stopped enjoying life in its totality, she had no desire to die but she also didn't desire anything.

 

 The simple things like spending time with family and friends no longer mattered to her, setting and reaching goals stopped being a constant in her life, she wasn't happy nor sad, basically she had stopped feeling, just a hollow version of the once bubbly Diora Taka.

 

 For a love and wedding magazine writer and photographer who has just been promoted to editor, what would it mean for her career if she no longer felt emotions oor had the blazing fire of passion that she once did, the passion that got her to this point at her career.

 

Ignoring her calls and downing 2 glasses of whiskey in one go, warmth coursed through her chest, the warmest her chest area has felt in months, she gets ready to turn the tv off and call it a night but decides to check her email one last time before bed and it wasnt a suprise she had work due for the next morning, work she had to finish and submit before she went to bed. 

 

''There goes my peaceful nap'' she said, resigning into her home work station for the night.

 

 

The weekend goes by really fast and Diora barely got any kind of rest, she reluctantly got up, jumped in the shower and got ready for work, while applying minimal make up, she looked in her mirror and said ''Dont let them see you sweat, you've got this''.

 

 She rushes over to get her car keys and in a few minutes of her drive to work, she gets into a minor accident, because of her lack of concentration she hit the rear of a car stopped at a red light and the driver was not going to let her go until he got her insurance to come right over or get it fixed somehow. 

 

Running late for the first executive meeting of the quarter, Diora let out a very frustrated scream, attracting stunned gazes from onlookers, she swiped both palms over her face, smearing the make up she painstakinly applied because she infact knew in that moment ''she was gonna sweat visibly for people to see and she don't got this'.

 

At 11:45, Diora walks into her office building, eyeliner smeared across her face, lipstick swiped across her cheeks, stressed and sweaty, she hung her low as she realixed she attracted stares, pointed fingers and giggles from almost everyone in the building, she walks into her office about to set her bag down when her boss barges in, she could've sworn she saw flames blazing in her boss's eyes, red eyed and fighting every urge to cuss at Diora, the very elegant Katherine Summers says 

''Miss Taka, if you would be so kind to join me in my office this very instant'' and immediately turns on her heels.

 In Katherine's office, Diora finds her professional nemesis, Mr polak, ever ready to take a swipe at her at her lowest moments, he had in fact sworn to dedicate his life to undermining, sabotaging and criticising her ever since she became the youngest editor in the history of the company. 

 

Mr Polak was rather hasty to point out one of her very evident flaws this morning, he refused to pass up the opportunity to reduce her to what he thought she was, nothing.

 

 ''Oh my God, what happened? You look a mess, like you have been hit by a truck or worse, perharps the burden of being an editor at such a young age has finally caught up to you'', the tone of mockery evident in his voice.

 

 

 Diora sucks in her breath ready to hiss back at Mr Polak when Katherine interrupts her,

 

 ''Would you care to explain why you came to work looking like that? You know what, I dont care, please tell me why you chose to be absent for the first meeting in this quarter?'

 

Mr Polak attempts to interfere when Katherine orders him to excuse her.

 

Once Mr Polak steps out of the office, Diora lets out a very huge sigh like she had been holding her breathe for the longest time, she blurts out

 

 ''Katherine I swear to you, it isn't what you think, I came out of the house this morning and the craziest thing happened' her voice trails off.

 

Katherine cuts in ''What is going on Diora, I dont think I can continue to protect you anymore''

 

With a slight hint of anger she continues ''Do you even remember the special edition for this quarter was released a week ago, a special edition that just like the last 2 is a wonderful disaster?''

 

Diora could not help but hang her head low, this was supposed to be her redemption, her chance to prove she belonged here, to prove she deserved her place as  editor. 

 

''I cannot begin to tell you how many negative feedbacks we have gotten and how your performance deeply affects us as a company'' Katherine sighs.

 

She continues ''Suggestions have been made to replace you as editor'' looking away.

 

Diora looking distraught says ''Katherine please this cant happen, you know how hard I have worked to get here, I need you to trust me please, I can do better, I promise I'll fix everything please, you know I deserve to be here''.

 

 Katherine shoots her a very annoyed look

 

''Do I think you should be here? Yes but I dont know about deserve, what you deserve is what you fight to sustain, to keep but you are not even trying at all, did you even see how soulless those pictures and columns were on the special edition? Its the worst record we have had in years, coming from you, my protege'' she sighs.

 

 ''This is your last chance, the last chance to redeem yourself, by some God given miracle, the next special edition better blow everybody's mind away because if it doesn't, you are out, close the door behind you''. she huffs.

 

With a thumping chest and heavy feeling feet, Diora walks out of Katherine's office with her chin up determined to not let any of her co workers see how devastated she really was and prove to everyone she belongs here.

 

 Aresolve that soon shatters the second she enters her office and she buries her head in her hands, wishing that this hollow, empty feeling thats deeply rooted inside of her would disappear the same way it appeared.

 

 

Surviving the week solely on coffee, whiskey and every bit of time wasting ideas her tired brain could come up with, Diora looked like she was at the final stage of becoming a hybrid zombie, wasted and stressed out.

 

She dragged herself to the door after hearing the doorbell ring for the sixth time this morning, she opened her door and she finds her vivacious best friend Adhie smiling from ear to ear walking in with a huge cake

 

 ''Are you having a slumber party or someone is getting married'' Diora recounts.

 

 Adhie stopping in her tracks slightly disappointed yelled ''Its your 30th birthday Dee, are you really trying to say you dont remember your own birthday?''

 

Diora knowing how sensitive Adhie is quickly accepts the cake and mouths the words ''thank you, I love you'' swiping a finger at the cake to taste the whipped frosting. 

 

Settling down on the couch, Adhie asks

 

''So whats the plan for today? I booked us a table at our favorite strip club for later tonight but we should go have brunch, go to the spa, get our hair and nails done, oh I'm gonna have to call Nadzy and Fuie and Jacob, Zaib and Kardinal, no I have to make a guest list''

 

 Diora watches Adhie ramble on and on about how she has a foolproof plan to make her birthday memorable, letting out an uninterested sigh, Adhie catches on to Diora's lack of interest 

 

'' Diora, what is going on? First of all you look like you're half dead and you haven't washed in days, you look terrible, your forgot your own birthday and now you wont even say anything about any plan I have made, you were so excited for your 30th birthday last year''.

 

Triggered by the reminder that she was a happy person who looked forward to the little things in the previous year, Diora lets out a very annoyed growl 

 

''Why would you people not leave me alone? Why is everyone hounding me about what I did last year, who I was last year, where I was at last year, what I wanted last year? Its a new year, why can't everyone accept that this who I am right now''

 

 Adhie cuts her short telling,

 

 ''Because who you are right now is pathetic, you pity yourself, you wont go to therapy, you wont let your friends or family in, you're making this hard on us, we're trying to understand you so help us out here''. 

 

Diora sucks in a sharp breath and spews in anger,

 

''Well I never told any of you to help me, never needed help from none of you, you people bother me, I didn't ask you to keep being my friend and lurking around because you have nothing better to do so please leave'' pointing at the door.

 

Adhie stunned, blinks severally and without a word, walks towards the door, Diora realizes what she had done, calls behind her,

 

 ''Adhie you know I didn't mean that, I'm just frustrated, come on wait''..

 

 Adhie turns back at the door, teary eyed,

 

 '' Eat shit Diora'' and slams the door behind her, making an already bad day even worse for diora