Lance Decker Rock-First Babysitter

“No you can’t go” a seven-year-old insisted but his parents were going out for the night.

Kevin told Lance that they hired a babysitter and “she will be here in half an hour.  Her name is Karen Colbert.”

Kevin also explained they sent her money by phone to get KFC for her and Lance.

Lance asked, “what if a chicken bone gets stuck in the babysitters throat?”

Tina quickly answered, “Lance stop being silly.”

Lance asked another question.

“What if the babysitter invites her boyfriend into the house and they make a baby?”

Tina shouted, “Lance Decker Rock that’s inappropriate!”

20 minutes later the babysitter arrived.  When Lance met Karen he had a cute smile on his face.

Tina and Kevin were soon off to a night to themselves while Lance and Karen sat down to KFC.

Lance wolfed down his dinner. 

Karen smiled at Lance and said “I hear you’re on the honor roll.”

“Yes” replied the young child and then Karen’s phone rang.

After she answered it Lance got up and ran off.

“Hello mother” said Karen.

After a 10 minute phone call with her mother Karen headed up the stairs where she knew Lance was.

She heard loud music coming from his room.  She opened his door and yelled “Lance” and he stopped the music.

“Lance Decker Rock what is that song you’re playing?”

Lance responded “it’s called Evil Dead by Death.  It’s off the album Scream Bloody Gore!”

When he showed her the album cover she flipped out!

“Oh my God there’s skeletons on the album cover.”

Lance suggested a song be sung about them.

“Oh there are skeletons on this album cover.  They’re so horrifying but my parents let me listen to this album all day long.  La la la bloodshed and pickaxes.”

Karen shouted “okay that’s enough!”

Lance stopped singing but still had a cute smile on his face.

When Karen caught her breath and settled down she suggested they have dessert.

Lance yelled “hooray!”

They walked down the stairs, and Karen got the ice cream scoop and moose tracks ice cream.

“I got the cones” the seven year old shouted with excitement.

Soon they were enjoying ice cream.

Karen’s phone rang and she stood up to reach for it.  Once she had it in her hand she answered “hello Jane.”

“Oh my God” shouted Karen as she put her ice cream cone on the chair she’d been sitting in.  Then she continued talking on and on.”

After she hung up Lance yelled “no don’t sit” but it was too late.  She sat on top of her ice cream cone and screamed.

Lance shouted “I tried to warn you.”

She ran to the bathroom and refused to come out.  Lance freaked out and ran up to his room.  He began playing the Leprosy Album by Death.

When Kevin and Tina got home Karen yelled “I sat on an ice cream cone” and ran out of their house.

Lance told his parents “don’t look at me I didn’t put her ice cream cone on the chair.”

The End