Mama, What Happened?

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Featured Review on this writing by Thomaswcase8'.

"Superb work."

"Mama, What Happened?" is a heartfelt poem that explores the emotional journey of witnessing a mother’s transformation through hardship. Through vivid memories of love, music, and sacrifice, the speaker grapples with the pain of watching their mother change under the weight of life’s struggles. Yet, beneath the sorrow lies an offering of hope—a promise of safety, love, and healing. This poignant piece captures the complexities of family, resilience, and the desire to protect the ones who once protected us.

I remember you used to dance
To the Bee Gees.
I remember you used to sing—
You were always a Swifty.

Mama, what happened?
Was it the birds leaving you behind?
Was it the men, leaving you high and dry?

I remember you would rock me in the pew.
I remember you defending me at school.

Mama, what happened?
Was it the demons from your past?
Did they crawl up your bedpost?
Did the nightmares last?

I remember your drive
To work, the single dive
Diving into a pile of bills,
Not for the rush, not for the thrills.

Mama, what happened?
I’ll tell you what—
Come live with me.

There’ll be no more misery.

You are safe here, Mama.
I swear—
No more ghosts, no more fear.

Submitted: February 27, 2025

Memoir poetry life memoir true single-motherhood

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Michael Cleary

I marvel at the depth in your work and the internal soft rhyming schemes deployed within the piece. You obviously have a strong personal connection to the work which makes it very powerful. The rhetorical questions deployed are a strong support for the way the poem is framed. My only suggestion would be to not set the tone of the poem with the opening comments. It isn't that the opening is bad in any way, but for me it was like a gift wrapped in transparent paper it kind of spoils the surprise.

Thu, February 27th, 2025 4:02pm

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I appreciate your suggestions so much! I do think that would help it tremendously :) Thank you for taking the time to read and give me feedback. I am just getting back into this kind of work, and I am super excited to be writing again and interacting with other writers on this platform.
Thanks again!

Thu, February 27th, 2025 9:45am