Insanity's name

Reads: 1410 | Likes: 8 | Shelves: 2 | Comments: 18

I wrote this back in January of 2011. I was going through a severe depression. This isn't me anymore. I don't have these thoughts anymore.

Today, I think that I shall die,

I think this is where it ends,

Today I’ll take the life,

I cannot live at this expense.

Today, I know I’ll die because my heart is bleeding out,

I saw it in my eyes what this day is all about.

Today my skin will rip and my veins will tear,

And from my wrist to fingertips; my blood shall run to the there.

Today I have no interest in the breath triggered by my lungs,

And so my life I’ll take away leaving secrets on my tongue.

My life is damned because of the mind that I possess,

I beg please understand, I cannot live suppressed.

To set all my shadows free once and for all,

I will no longer be put against the wall.

I am the problem and I am to blame,

I’m who insanity calls out her name.

Submitted: June 19, 2017

Poetry depression thoughts sadness suicide hopelessness

Like
Shelfit

Add Your Comments:

Sign in to write a comment

Comments

FirePlague

The intensity is almost overwhelming. I love this poem

Mon, June 19th, 2017 1:02pm

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 6:35am

Doria sanders

Nice poem... Like the way it's written.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 4:52pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 10:16am

hullabaloo22

Well penned, jaylisbeth.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 5:00pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Hully.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 10:16am

Mike S.

Sad, but all-too-common, depression distorts a person's reality--they should get help if they feel this way

Mon, June 19th, 2017 7:02pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike. At 19, that's exactly what I did.

Mon, June 19th, 2017 12:50pm

Paul Poe

Thank you for sharing this poem. I can appreciate and understand your honesty.

Wed, June 21st, 2017 12:35am

Author
Reply

Thank you for commenting. It means a lot to me.

Wed, June 21st, 2017 5:13am

Rehmat Tanzila

Now you making me cry -_-
Jaylisbeth dear I would say nothing -_-

Fri, June 23rd, 2017 8:06am

Author
Reply

For the record, I don't feel this way anymore. Thank you for reading.

Fri, June 23rd, 2017 5:43am

Spyguy

Having many times felt those same feelings as a younger man, I intimately understand the place from whence this sprung! I am certainly glad that you no longer feel this way! Yes, children change us in so many wonderful ways, don't they! As I alluded to in a recent comment on another of your wonderful works, it is reflective of our Savior, when we care so deeply about another's feelings & pain that we would wholeheartedly set aside our own needs & desires to the embetterment of that other somebody, rather than ourselves! I love your dedication & tenacious spirit, Princess!

Mon, July 17th, 2017 10:57pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Spy. This one was very personal. Although I feel frustration often, I do not allow myself to fall into this path anymore.

Mon, July 17th, 2017 4:23pm

LeParadisNoirPoetique

I kinda see depression as more of a premonition. Because all of our thoughts are are about suicide, feeling pain, wanting to die, so we try to harm our own skin, or drink something to get all of those options at once. Some succeed in dying, some do not. I think those who do not are the ones who see the premonition the most, and they back out because they don't understand the meaning of depression. What do you think? This is super personal with the self harm of power, and it makes the thoughts of death even bittersweet. Lisbeth you have the strength of a queen, so don't you have thoughts about dying anymore. You were still a teen when you felt like this, and maybe that is understandable because the responsibilities of adulthood were on your shoulders, and that itself is a scary new world. I love how you word this, and use the rhyming for such a powerful effect. I'm happy you don't feel like this anymore. I've only just met you, and I want to know you for a long time, so hang around a while :)

Sun, November 12th, 2017 8:42am

Author
Reply

Yes, I wrote this while in college, I was around 20 years old. This is a very personal one to me. Thank you very much for reading.

Sun, November 12th, 2017 1:03am

johngumbs

I am glad that you're more stronger now and is able to see what is around the bend. We think and do a lot of things when we are teens. At least you're Lucky to be here and writing about it. Some teenagers are not here to do so.
Your style of setting sad things in a poem is great; and along with that beautiful rhyming. Don't ever, ever think those thoughta gain. Great writing!

Sun, November 12th, 2017 9:44am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much, John. I am much better now and I will do my best to keep it that way.

Sun, November 12th, 2017 11:27am

Tom Allen714

Jaylisbeth, I feel like I saw another side of your life, Great job...Tom...

Sun, November 12th, 2017 10:09am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Tom. This was in a dark time in my life.

Sun, November 12th, 2017 11:25am

Amy F. Turner

The subject matter hits you from the start as you tumble along jab after jab. The expression is vivid and so tangible, but the best part of this peom is the final line that ties it all together.

Sun, November 12th, 2017 12:12pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Amy. This poem came from a dark place at the time.

Sun, November 12th, 2017 11:23am