Halloween Monkey-Business

I stepped outside the house. “Let’s go!”

“I hope I get a buttload of candy!” El swung her orange pail around.

“Yeah, me too!”

A cool gust of breeze blew my brown curly hair. I zipped up my jacket.

“I wish you dressed up,” El said.

“Yeah, costumes aren’t my thing.”

“But, it’s fun! You could’ve been a monkey.”

“A monkey?”

“Yeah! It’d be funny!”

“OK, maybe next Halloween.” I ruffled her blond wig.

I looked up at the crescent moon which glowed brightly in the night sky.

“Pretty moon.” Ek said.

“Yeah. Luckily, it’s not full, or werewolves would be out now!”

“Haha, werewolves aren’t real.”

“You sure about that?” I grinned.

We walked into the street. Orange and red leaves flew around us. A few kids roamed around swinging their orange pails. One was dressed as a skeleton that glowed in the dark. She was tall, but I couldn’t tell how old she must’ve been because her chest was pretty flat in that costume.  We passed many cool houses with jack-o-lanterns and black cats.

“Let’s visit that house.” El pointed.

It was a few houses over. As we scrolled up the driveway, I admired the fake cobwebs draped across the gutters. She went through all that trouble, to climb up and hang those decorations up.

“It’s so spooky!” El said.

“Yeah!”

We walked up and I raised an eye at the door knocker-handle, which was a nose ring for an ugly gargoyle head. I gave it a knock, grabbing it.

“I like the door handle. Where do you suppose they got it?” El asked.

“Maybe at the monster store,” I joked.

The door opened and…

A goblin stepped out. Green snot oozed from her pointy nose.

El shrieked.

“Happy Halloween!” She grabbed some Tootsie Pops and candy corn and dropped them into our bags. “Hope I didn’t scare you too badly.”

El giggled.

Examining her mask, I realized the snot was plastic hanging down. It was a great effect. It looked fluidy.

“Have fun!” She closed the door.

“She scared you good!” I slugged my sister’s shoulder as we walked away.

“I wasn’t scared.” El retorted.

“You almost wet yourself!”

“Did not!”

“Yeah, you were so brave.” I rolled my eyes.

She punched my arm and skipped across the path, leading to the driveway.

“I do like those cobwebs up on the roof.” I pointed.

“Yeah, they’re cool.”

We walked along the driveway in the orange glow from the overhead lights. Through the corner of my eye a shadow caught my attention…

“What the...” I blurted out.

“What?” El stopped.

The shadow was gone.

I blinked. “Nothing. I thought I saw something.”

“Are you trying to scare me again?”

We trudged down the sidewalk. Large cracks scattered the worn-down concrete.

“Don’t step on a crack or you’ll break Mamma’s back!” El hopped over one, landing safely on the chunk of concrete.

I jumped over a crack, playing along.

A boy about ten in a Batman suit walked along with a guy my age, which I assumed was his older brother.

“You know, in seven years, I’ll be your age,” El said.

“Yeah.” I replied.

“And you’ll be a crotchety old lady.”

“Hey!”

She stuck her tongue out at me.

“You’re silly!” I said.

“I’m not silly. I’m Sailor Moon!!”

“Then, you’d better protect me from bad guys.”

She giggled.

“Sailor Moon isn’t the best superhero.”

“I know, but I like her.”

“Yeah, me too!”

We strolled a few feetA tan monkey hopped out from behind the bushes of the next yard. We jumped back.

It looked at us curiously through its brown glossy eyes.

My sister jumped behind me.

“It’s OK, El,” I said.

Not wanting to startle the animal, I said, “Hey there, where did you come from?” I searched for a tag or bracelet, but nothing on its body.

It whined, its brown eyes pathetically starring into mine.

“Do you belong to someone?” I looked around. “What should we do?”

To my surprise, El came back around and said, “It seems nice.”

The monkey’s fat lips formed into a goofy smile, showing its white teeth.

“It must belong to someone. I think it can find its home. Let’s leave it alone,” I said.

“What if it can’t?” El asked.

“It will be fine.”

“I dunno… it looks pretty lost…”

“Alright, alright, we’ll try to find where it belongs.” I sighed. “Come on…” I looked down to see what to call the primate.  “Little fella.”

The monkey waddled along behind.

“It sure is cute!” El said.

“I just hope we find his home.”

“Maybe he escaped from a zoo.”

“The nearest zoo is two hours from us since the one in Burningham closed down.”

“Maybe he walked all the way from there?”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You never know.” El shrugged.

Two guys in red jackets walked near us. One had a purple stud in his ear. While the other had shiny curly blond hair which I wanted to run my hand through.

“Hey, did you lose a monkey?” I asked.

“No,” the cute blond guy said.

“OK, thanks.” I blushed.

“We haven’t seen anyone keep a monkey around here.”

“I know. This guy hoped out from behind some bushes. We think someone lost him.”

“Maybe he’s chipped? You should take him to the vet,” the black-haired guy said.

“Uh, I don’t think they would check on monkeys.”

He shrugged.

“Thanks anyway. We’ll keep asking around.”

“You didn’t bring any bananas on you by chance?”

A dumb giggle escaped my throat. “No.”

“Oh. Well, good luck! I hope you find his home.”

I’d have asked the cute one out if it weren’t for the monkey. He’d think I was putting on an act.”

 

We walked on. A green VW Beetle edged around us. I happened to notice the woman doing a double take before she passed us.

We definitely were getting attention thanks to our furry companion.

“You liked that boy.” El smirked.

“I did not!”

“Then, why did you giggle?”

“I feel sorry for the monkey,” I said, changing the subject.

The monkey uttered little whines.

“Whoa.” I blurted out.

“What?” El asked.

“His eyes turned purple.”

“Huh?” She looked. “I don’t see it.”

I looked. His eyes were normal brown.  “I could’ve sworn…”

“Nice try, sis!” El smirked.

I rubbed my eyes.

The monkey grinned.

“Poor little guy.” El said.

“We will find his home,” I replied.

Before I could react, the monkey swiped its hand and knocked the pail out of mine.

“HEY!” I exclaimed and brent over to pick the candy up.

“What did you do that for?!” El asked.

The monkey smiled with its lips curled.

“He thinks it’s funny, Monika.”

“Well, I don’t,” I replied, although not really annoyed. Monkeys are often mischievous, but they don’t mean it. 

Once I finished picking the candy up, I said to the monkey, “Now that you got that out of your system, let’s continue our round.”

“No more being naughty, OK?” El said to the monkey.

The monkey waddled along.

Was I seeing things or had his eyes really turned purple?

 

When we walked up to the door I glanced down. “Maybe we should just call animal control. No one’s gonna know where it came from.”

“He could be a pet. You never know. “ El said.

I sighed and rang the doorbell.

“Bwaahahaha!” A low creepy voice exclaimed.

I’d have enjoyed the scary ring if we weren’t accompanying a monkey.

The door swung open.

“Trick-or-treat!” Mr. Rey smiled, holding a bowl of candy. He looked down. “And who’s your furry friend?”

“We found him a few blocks down in some bushes.” I pointed. “I think he’s lost.”

“Aw, poor guy!”

“You by chance haven’t seen anyone with a monkey around?”

“No, sorry, I have not.”

”Ok, well, thank you.”

He handed us a Snickers bar. “Here.”

“Thank you.”

“You better not give the monkey candy,” He smiled. “It might make him hyper.”

“We won’t.”

“Hope you find his home.”

“I’m sure we will. Thanks.”

He shut the door.

“Where do you live, little guy?” I asked.

The monkey curled his lips.

“Somebody has to know where you belong.”

 

“Alright, thanks.” I said as a woman in a witches’ hat closed her door.

I sighed. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. Maybe I should call animal control.” We walked onto another shitty sidewalk.

“What about Mom and Dad?” El asked.

“I can call Animal Control and report the lost monkey. I’m old enough.” I pulled my phone out.

Then the monkey let out what sounded like a cackle.

“What the…”

Its eyes turned purple. 

“Do you see it, now, El?” I asked.

It licked its lips.

El stared, wide-eyed.

Grabbing my sister, I slowly backed away.

The monkey took a step forward.

“I don’t know what you are, but you best get back!” I warned, trying to hide my fear.

The monkey glared at us with menacing purple eyes.

“Shoo!”

But the monkey stood up on its hind legs and howled.

“RUN!” I screamed but before we could do anything, it jumped on my head and scratched my face.

“MONIKA!” El shrieked.

I screamed in searing pain and grabbed for the little bastard.

The monkey leapt on El and tore her wig off.

I whapped the beast to the ground, grabbed her hand, and ran.

Howling pierced the air behind us.

El cried as we raced down the street.

Houses lit up.

I pondered why no one ran outside to find who was shrieking, then remembered it was Halloween.

I looked back as the crazed monkey bounded for us on all fours.

“HELP!” I wailed.

We ran past several dark houses. My heart raced in my throat as leaves crunched under my sneakers.

Howling cries pierced our ears.

We trampled across the intersection. Leaves blew in the wind. A few houses were decorated; plastic ghosts, black cats, orange and red lights.

Some Halloween! Being chased by a crazy, purple-eyed, monkey! 

I saw my friend, Emily, a couple of houses down.

“What the fuck?” she blurted out and grabbed my other hand. She yanked us down the street and around a corner. We were out of breath.

There was no place to go. Emily pointed. We managed to wiggle under a Toyota pick-up truck parked against the curb. My heart pounded. Furry feet stopped a few inches from our noses.

El started hyperventilating-too much white showed in  her irises. 

“Shh!” I pressed my fingers to my lips and grabbed her shoulder.

The monkey gave a couple whines then ran off. I let out a deep breath.

“Is everyone alright?” I asked as we crawled out.

“What on Earth…?” Emily blurted out.

I told her.

“You sure it’s not a robot?”

“I dunno what it is! All I know is its crazy!”

“It’s evil,” El said.

“We’ve had a bad night,” I said.

El sobbed.

“It’s OK,” I rubbed her cheek.

“I hope someone calls animal control.”

“That was no ordinary monkey! Did you see his eyes?”

“Are your parents home?”

“No, they’re working late tonight.”

“On Halloween?... You best come to my house since were already a block from it.”

Emily’s house looked like a dark, worn-down Victorian style shack. The bare tree branches scraping the edge of the roof didn’t help.

El stopped.

“Come on, you’ve been in my house lots of times,” Emily said.

“I know. I just realized it looks creepy.”

“Close your eyes.”

“OK.”

I grabbed her hand.

The three of us walked in. Emily flipped the lights on. “We’re safe now.” She closed and locked the door.

“What if the monkey knocks the door down?” El asked.

“Then, I’ll knock it out,” Emily said.

“I’d better call Mom.” I pulled my phone out.

It went to voicemail.

“El and I are at Emily’s. A crazed monkey is after us. We’re waiting til it’s safe out.”

“I’m scared the monkey will find us!” El said.

“We’re OK.” I stroked her hair.

“I’m sure the monkey will be captured soon.” Emily said.

“Yeah. And then we can go,” I said, although I wasn’t sure it would happen soon. That monkey was no ordinary primate. For one, its eyes changed purple.

“Be right back.”  Emily walked into the hall.

El wrapped her arms around me.

I kissed her forehead. “It’s OK. I won’t let it come in.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, but it will be alright.”

“That monkey is evil.”

“We won’t let anything happen. The door is locked. We’re safe.”

Emily returned holding a baseball bat. “You want something?”

El shook her head.

“Wanna watch TV?”

El nodded.

She picked up the remote and turned her UHD TV on. Dora the Explorer danced with Boots the monkey.

El screamed. “TURN IT OFF!”

“Oh, shit!” Emily exclaimed, hastily punching the off button.

El cried.

“I’m sorry. My cousin must’ve been watching Nick Jr earlier.”

I hugged her. “It’s OK. We’re safe.  We won’t let any monkeys in.”

“Yeah. It cannot get in. I locked the door,” Emily said.

“Alright.” She sniffled.

“Are you sure you don’t want something to drink?” Emily asked. “It might calm you down.”

With a soft voice, El replied. “OK.”

“I’ll go make some tea.”

“With sugar?”

“I’ll put a little in. Sugar might amplify your anxiety.” She disappeared into the kitchen. “I love your costume, by the way.”

I hugged El. “We’ll be OK.”

“OK.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”  El kissed my cheek. “The monkey knocked my Sailor Moon wig off.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new wig.”

“Thanks, sis, you’re the best!”

“Your brown hair is pretty, too.”

“I know.”

“After the monkey is caught, we’re gonna go home.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

“Sorry we didn’t get to trick-or-treat much.”

El pouted.

I brushed her hair back. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll help you defeat that boss in Zelda tomorrow.”

“OK.” She smiled.

“Why are your parents working on Halloween night?” Emily asked.

“They won’t tell me. All I know is they’re at the lab,” I replied.

BAM! Something slammed into the door.

El screamed.

My muscles tensed. It can’t break the door down, can it?

BAM!

El dashed out of the room.

I ran after her.

BAM!

“El!”

I heard the door crash. I spun around and the monkey stood inside, its eyes pulsing purple. Its muscles bulged like a body builder’s. 

“SHIT!” Emily yelled.

“Leave or I’ll kill you!” I said, trying to hide the scared quiver in my voice.

With a holler, the monkey leapt at me. I yelled and dodged it, but it landed on its hairy feet and shrieked just a few feet from me.

“HEY!” Emily shouted, getting the monkey’s attention. “Get down!” She swung her baseball bat and connected. POW!

 The monkey’s head popped off its body.

She shrieked as it soared toward her.

My eyes bulged as I couldn’t believe what I witnessed! My heart pounded in my chest as a wave of fear overtook me. Oh, God! Was this a dream? Was I about to wake up in my bed screaming? I looked down. My body quivered.

Emily screamed, running around the room being chased by the evil monkey head.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!” I hollered as its headless body threw a punch at me. I ducked and heaved myself at the decapitated body. “DIE!” I whapped it.  The body scratched my arm. I yelled as seething pain shot through my body. An open hand came towards my face. I managed to scramble away before it could slap the shit out of me.

Rushing into the kitchen, I opened a drawer and snatched a large knife. Heart pounding, I ran and dove it into the monkey’s skull. It spun around and a wave of purple electricity zapped in its eyes.

“SHIT!” I screamed, jumping back.

The bolt of electricity struck the spot where I had been. The monkey head howled. Smoke rose from the black, charred spot.

The monkey head shrieked and soared towards me.

I dashed around the couch. 

 

The monkey head stared at me. Its crazy purple eyes almost hypnotic. EE-EE-OH-OOOH! Its shrieking voice pierced my ears. It hovered towards me. it grinned maliciously.  My heart pounded.

“GO AWAY” I screamed.

The monkey head edged toward me as I prepared for my doom…

“MONIKA!” Mom’s voice hollered.

I looked and saw her standing by the door with Dad.

The monkey glanced up. It howled.

Mom threw a device at me. “It’s a stun-gun! Zap it!”

“Huh?”

“Push the button!”

I thrust it at the monkey’s body and punched the button. A wired prong shot deeply into the headless furry monster. Both the head and the body collapsed in pain in front of me. The body along with its detached, floating head quivered as it laid on the floor.

Mom and Dad rushed over and hugged me.

“Mommy!” El ran over and joined the hug.

“Sweety!” Mom said as she kissed her. “Are you OK?”

Yes.”

 “I’m sorry our lab experiment escaped.  Your father and I modified our lab monkey, George’s DNA to keep him from getting sick, but something happened. It gave him powers! He went crazy and escaped. That’s why we had to go to work tonight. We had to look for him.”

“You were testing on him?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“We’re sorry. We had no idea how badly the experiment would backfire or we’d never have done it,” Dad said.

I told them about how we found him.

“And I brought them to my house,” Emily contributed.

“Looks like you kids had a horrible Halloween!” Dad said.

“Yes!” El pouted.

“We’re so sorry. We’ll make it up to you,” Mom replied.

“No, that’s OK. For some reason, I’m just craving for a banana!” El said.

I noticed a scratch on her arm. Come to think of it, I wanted a banana, too!

Mom frowned. “Maybe this calls for more investigation. How about we get banana splits down at Denny’s Restaurant. It’s still open.”

We giggle with delight! I waved at Emily to join us as Dad picked up the dead monkey and his head. We left.